Friday morning

Last night I hung out down town to watch Ishmael play a drum like instrument and chat with mutual friends over wine.

I told Heath, the husband of an expectant mother (only 4 months a long and not even showing) that the reason everyone wants everyone else to have kids is so that we can all suffer together.

It's not that bad actually... Marian is the best mommy on the planet. She's amazing. I almost cried when I dropped her and Sebastian off at the bus to LAX on Wednesday morning. When I got back home that evening from working the house seemed exceptionally quiet. At first it was really sad, but then I sort of liked that quiet... peaceful, not having to hide my laptop, cell phone, keys from roving destructomatic 1 and a half year olds, being able to eat whatever I wanted without having to share, sitting on the couch and reading a book, washing my dishes and putting them away... it was really nice.

Then, last night I went to bed at midnight and couldn't sleep past 6am because I knew that at 7am the painter guys were going to descend on the house, break out their hand held power sanders and start sanding again. When I'm inside the house and they're doing that it sounds like there are gigantic bumble bees attacking us.

This morning in the car I called Marian and our son and talked to them for a few minutes before settling down to work. Sebastian complained that I was not there and only inside the phone and that I couldn't pick him up. He also told me that he bonked his head on mommy's head this morning and that his head still hurt. This was relayed to me through his simple sentence: "ow ow Mama" and the editorial comments of the "Mama" explaining to me what that meant. I was impressed at his ability to relate to me something that had happened previously that morning, and his ability to relay it through putting the two words together to sort of make a sentence. He's been doing that a lot lately.

I do miss them. That is undeniable. My life is nothing without Marian. Sebastian is indeed the manifestation of our relationship.